One week ago, we were driving deeper into a lost state. Our schedule was complicated around Wanda’s birthday in September so we decided to add a day in the mountains after the Guild Summit in Chattanooga. We set sail from there at noonish last Sunday with Siri's fastest route, not even looking closely at the map before leaving. As it turns out, our Under Canvas destination was actually on the far side of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. And while Siri took us the fastest route, it was also the most complex, with probably 18 turns or so on tiny roads once we left the interstate, with the last few miles out of cellular range and using offline maps. We ended up on steep gravel roads and reached a dead end on a mountaintop at a house with about 15 cars but no obvious people. Stepping on someone’s porch in a place this remote is a good way to get shot in this part of the country, so I shouted “anybody home?” three times, then decided to head back down the mountain.

All the dirt/gravel roads had fingered out, so it was no problem “climbing out of the dendritic tree” and getting back to pavement a mile or two back. From there, we went back to a dude ranch we’d noticed, assuming a place of business was safe to enter. It was… but evening was coming on as they were helping someone ahead of me. When they finally (it seemed like a long time, but was probably only a few minutes) finished with her, they told me “oh, that’s easy… do this…” It turns out the offline maps misdirected us just a quarter mile before the sign to Under Canvas.

We checked in and carried our stuff to the tent. It was rustic but nothing like what our son Sam does camping in the deep woods in his September hunting excursions. I got the fire lit in the flat-top stove, where we could have cooked but they asked us to take no food to the tent because it could attract bears or other critters. They’ve only had two bears on the grounds this year, but still... so of course we complied, even feeding Sally and Lela, our two miniature doxies, in the car instead of taking their food to the tent. We had dinner in the main community tent, then sat outside for awhile because storytelling wasn’t til 8.

One of the staff came out after awhile to let us know they’d seen “Sylvia the sweet little skunk” on the grounds and didn’t want our dogs to scare her so she’d spray. By that time it was sprinkling a bit so we went back to the tent to wait for Story Hour. The tent was toasty from the stove, so we all just relaxed from our travels. The staff had told us there was no cell service for miles around, nor was there electricity in the tent, so we sat and talked. And at one point I did stop and locate a satellite with my iPhone and did a couple basic things that way.

We went back for Story Hour, then to bed. I went to the bath building around 2, which wasn’t far away, and shortly afterward a soft rain started, which persisted until midday. We had breakfast, but I was worried before leaving about how to get out of there because there was no way I could deconstruct the 18 or so turns from the interstate, especially with no cell coverage. The guy at the desk (something more like a couple sawhorses and a plywood top) said “I’ll give you a longer but much simpler way out.” He printed the instructions veeeerrrry slowly, as everything works in the main tent with their limited electricity there, but then said “it’s actually easier than the map. Just take a right out of our entry drive, then a a right at the dude ranch, then a left when you finally come to a traffic light, where you’ll finally have cell service.” “Okay, so it’s right, right, and left at the light, correct?” “Yep.” So that’s what we did, without even looking at the map. And now we’re home. And it turns out I realized that as a young guy, I could navigate all sorts of places in similar ways, but the advent of GPS a couple decades ago, or whenever that was, has allowed that part of my brain to atrophy. The Original Green Navigation was the way humanity has always figured out how to get around until recently. It's time we recover basic abilities like these!